How do you talk to yourself?

Say you are worried that someone didn't text you back and you start thinking: "It's probably because you texted them 3 times already like a loser.  Also they are out of your league anyways so I don't know what you were even thinking."   Now picture saying that to your best friend?  Wow that would likely never come out of your mouth.  

We often talk to and treat ourselves differently than other people. Next time you find yourself getting frustrated with or being unkind to yourself try this exercise below.   Maybe it's time to start treating yourself the same way you would treat
​anyone else you care about. 



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​How would you treat a friend?
Write down your answer the following questions:

1. First, think about times when a close friend feels really bad about him or herself or is really struggling in some way. How would you respond to your friend in this situation (especially when you’re at your best)? Please write down what you typically do, what you say, and note the tone in which you typically talk to your friends.
2. Now think about times when you feel bad about yourself or are struggling. How do you typically respond to yourself in these situations? Please write down what you typically do, what you say, and note the tone in which you talk to yourself.
3. Did you notice a difference? If so, ask yourself why. What factors or fears come into play that lead you to treat yourself and others so differently?
4. Please write down how you think things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way you typically respond to a close friend when you’re suffering.

Why not try treating yourself like a good friend and see what happens?
 

*this exercise is taken directly from the work of Dr. Kristin Neff.  If you found this exercise helpful check out more of her exercise and research at:  https://self-compassion.org/ 
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